I have to watch that drama again. I don't understand. Why does he have that personality? Why am I like him. Well, exactly like him. I can't stop questioning myself. Its so stupid. The thing I didn't realize it until now. I realized I am relatively less selfish. I don't understand. Its hard to understand.
He actually was exposed to a lot of evils since he was from the Korean ghetto. Well, I guess protection doesn't really matter since my parents didn't protect me. My parents actually made everything worst. lol. Idk fml...being myself is very hard. You give and never receive. If you receive its going against the rule I've created myself. Idk. Yeah... I think the problem is I got hatred for giving few times. I don't mind giving and then becoming strangers. Its just that I've received hate. It was the same for the main character.
I've realized I am disconnected. Its messed up. I don't even know how to fix it. I wish I could. What am I suppose to do? I think I've closed up completely. I'm back to myself when I was a child. No such thing as missing people.
Idk.. wtf... Just live life my style. Never take life seriously. If you take life seriously, a lot of thing hurts. If you laugh at life as a joke, everything is funny! I keep forgetting that. I forgot about it because life did get better. I forgot the rules I made for myself because everything a lot nicer than before.
Extremely nicer.
btw. Watch out for psychopaths. I actually could be one its just that I prefer not to. They are the ones that destroy people. I'm the one that fixes them. Its impossible to fix them, but its possible to open them up. I've opened a lot of people. Idk just natural. Idk if you just experience a lot of things its easier. Also, if you notice a lot of things, its easier. Idk.
Idk fk my brain. What happened?
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