Hypocrite

 I guess I'm a hypocrite. Telling people to love themselves. I do understand what they are going through though. People are hating themselves to improve themselves. As for me I hate myself so I can study harder. I mean if you love yourself, you don't improve. Why would you study? I'm happy with my life. I'm happy being lazy. I don't want to study. This is where self hatred comes in. If you hate yourself, it motivates you to improve yourself. 

The problem is is there a goal state? When do you stop hating yourself? My goal state is when I get a job. After I get a job, there is no need to hate myself. The only problem is that if pessimism over takes you, you lose. You end up going through a cycle of depression. If you manage to reach your goal state without getting into the cycle, you win. 

I think a lot of people hate themselves for their looks. The problem with looks is that there is no goal state. How do you know when you can stop? 

Another thing about self hatred is that you close yourself up. Punish yourself as well. Its mental torture. The reason I'm a bit more sane is because of my laziness counters this. I don't care about a lot of things. If I was not lazy, I believe this would be insane.  Self hatred also leads to external source of love. You need someone to love you in order to love yourself. Its why people who hate themselves can't live alone. Since there isn't another person loving them, they keep hating themselves. 

Its really bad for you. 

Well, I'm just a hypocrite. 

I don't know. I can't help it. I need to be smarter. If I actually went to a liberal arts school, I would have done a lot better.