FK...

So, I can't go to graduate school because I'll have trouble getting recommendation letters. I'll be going to the military so I won't be available for 4 years. So, the professors will forget me. -.- fml.. What am I suppose to do? fml.... Man life sucks. Make friends just to lose them. Never able to have an interpersonal relationship. Unstable education. WTF am I suppose to do lol. Nobody bothers understanding the situation. Most of the time, I can't relate to anyone.

So, change of events. Graduate University -> Military ->  Study for 2 years -> Internships x2 or go to another college -> Graduate school.

Yeah I should redo college again after graduating. Then I could apply for graduate school. The only problem is money. I wonder if my parents can afford 2 years of college. Graduate school I'm not worried because I can get research and get paid to study.

Lets see how old I'll be.
21: Graduate college
23: Ended military
25: Finished Studying GRE + Coding
27: Finished Internship or College (Acquire recommendation letters)
29: Finished Graduate School

Fk... This is all about endurance. Its all about never giving up.
I need to ask for recommendation in advance to see if it works. fml. FK
FK the problem was I started to lack motivation to study since my school has nothing that can make me happy. fk. It was study study study study study.

Fk it I'm owning everyone. The 2 years I'll spend in my room coding will dominate everyone. You have no idea what happens when I get motivated. Hatred gives me power. Its just that I've had to love people forcefully fml.

Well, I'll probably see the world dark then too.... fml .... Idk its hard to see the world positive when you're not doing anything fun. You just work work work. Its nice to have food with friends tho. Its just that we talk about depressing things together. idk lol few other Koreans have the same problem. Idk..

Maybe I should have gave up on computer science and do something else. Man I'm so arrogant lol. I suck at it and I still am doing it lol. I got a lot of help but still. Its quite amazing. Well, I do need to polish up my coding.

After I get back from military I need to buy few things.
1. Air conditioner
2. Mini fridge
3. Desk.
4. Big monitor
5. A lot of books.
FK I'll have to live in a haunted house. But the thing about this house is that everyone who lived in it became rich. Not joking. I actually got into an engineering school after I studied in that house. lol. Well, the thing was I couldn't sleep because I was too scared lolololol. man..... good

Man... life is confusing. Well the good thing about going back to korea is that I don't have to care about people. I mean I hate caring. Its just that I have to. fml. Or people will become like me. lol