Nightmares

I keep having nightmares of people changing themselves. To a certain extent changing themselves is good. However, in my dreams everyone changed for the worst. Everyone stopped being true to their beliefs. They keep destroying themselves. They never stop. If they keep destroying themselves, they go farther away from happiness. They use bandaids.

I really don't know what to do.

Fk. I'll do it to prove a point, like I always did. I've done so much irrational things to prove a point.

I hate empathy. Last time I was emotionally connected to someone, I had the fear of living alone. That person made me forget I enjoy being alone. I just need music and I'm fine.

I have a really interesting personality.
Love meat
Love stripping
Always have have music on
So cocky
Well, I was a lot more funnier, its just that I'm a bit tired. Too much happened. Idk... I just hate hurting others, but its inevitable when you have interpersonal relationships. The guilt from hurting a family member, always prevented me from getting close to people. If I'm friends, I can help, but can't hurt.

Living nice all depends on how long my parents live. Yeah this is all because of that traumatic event. Well, the benefit is having a good reputation. Yay, but not really. I'm not all that clean.


I need to do things that will make me happy.
Practice pool.
Read books.
Run. - I have to
Practice guitar.