Just a note... on an interesting factor. No matter how expensive or delicate the food is, for an average human being, they'll not know how to appreciate the food. Then again, no matter how shitty the food is, people who don't take food for granted, would always appreciate it.

These two sayings was something I've observed... A lot of people go to expensive restaurants and complain how they don't provide a filling meal. Well, you're suppose to appreciate the quality...

Then again, to some people, they know how to appreciate food itself whether the quality is crap or not.

This can be applied with people too. I'm kind of lazy so ... I'll leave the rest for whoever reads this blog.. lol..

Yesterday was pretty mind fuck. I tend to read people a lot. I made a false evaluation of a person yesterday, which made me really excited. lol I don't know, I found excitement in how I was wrong. Well, I'm not that good with reading people but, I know a bit. Mostly because I can sense whether I am comfortable with this person. If I sense even the most little bit of uncomfortableness, I remove myself.

So, yesterday... I was riding the bus. Some old lady came in. The bus started to move and she was like a pumpkin in a bus. You know like as the bus moved forward, the old lady moved back. The bus moved backwards, the lady went forward. She was tossed all over the place. lol. Eventually I gave her my seat. Its actually normal for younger people to give away their seats to the elders. Well... this behavior is decreasing. Anyways.. I thought she was from the rural parts of Korea since she lacked knowledge of the bus fee, "skills" in riding a bus and etc. For sure, it wasn't something normal for her.

I asked her if she was from this place or not whether she was from the rural place. She told me she was from new jersey. WTF... Thats when I was mind fucked. I first thought she was one of those fallen ones. Basically fallen ones are those people who were wealthy but couldn't adjust and live in rags. I should have noticed though her hair wasn't dirty. It was insanely hard to realize she wasn't poor. I mean seriously she dressed like a freaking beggar. Yeah.. for sure I should have notice she didn't have any dirt on her. Her clothes were old and worn out but no dirt. Fuck I'm dumb. Well... I was kind of distracted because she was kind of dying being toss around in the bus.

No she wasn't a beggar who was street smart and lied about herself. If she was street smart she would know how to hide herself in any condition to begin with. She talked about where I was from and she knew about atlanta and ktown in atlanta. Thats enough to realize she was telling the truth. Even educated Koreans wouldn't know that.

Anyways... she was looking for a store where I live. I help her with it because I don't know , she seemed lost.. doesn't know anything about Korea.. Well thankfully I did have time.

Oh yeah my effing computer died. Its so annoying. I have to back up. Idk.. its so annoying. Its like another piece of memories all gone. I'm going to try and save what I can because the OS system is broken not the data. I should have used time machine but... I only got my harddisk like few weeks ago.

Anyways it was the most exciting mindfuck ever! :P

OH YEAH JOEL.

Since I don't have facebook, I want to tell you and I kind of know you'll read this but, I found one of those girls who drink tea and crap. Living traditionally. It was kind of easy to take notice since she didn't exactly belong there. Then, I realized she doesn't know how to eat a hamburger ^^. So, I read her insides and stuff. She was quite amazed lol.

Oh and I kind of found out people can mesmerized others. Its quite disgusting but I saw people abuse it. Well, since this person was trying to mesmerize me to join her religion... Basically you have two or more people ganging up on one person. Start with things the victim can agree. Then, just keep forcing the person to agree on things. They kind of create a weird atmosphere.

342

Enter my world. 

Where nothing makes sense.

Where nothing is rational.

Where there is no patterns. 

343

My sister came back from college. It was really nice to see her again. lol. Talks about how much I've changed. Well, physically. Oh well. Korea is kind of where I can do a lot more so I'm pretty happy.

Yesterday, was pretty funny. I saw some farmers so, I told my dad. "Hey dad, I think it would be cool to marry a girl from the country." I'll know everything about the city and she'll know everything about the country.  He was like "hell no." Later he told me I should go to the park since there are girls who are pretty and rich. lol. Well, I told him. Their dad's think like him. I'm not "fit" their standards. lol. Idk it just feels good to mess with him sometimes. lol

Grandma gave me some cash :P Probably going use it for the fitness center. So much to fix. Its all do able.

I did meet a lot of people. A girl who decided to sell her body to run away. A guy who quit his job and decided to try another job. A girl who can't marry someone she love because of her parents. She also decides to run away. She keeps telling me a friend recorded her a lot of songs he sang for her. Isn't that more than a friend? I don't even know why she is telling me such information.. lol. Then, there was this girl who was a daughter of a CEO. Apparently used to live in gangnam. Now she lives in jeju an island in Korea. Lastly, there is the computer instructor. He kind of dropped out of the field of computer. He programs really well but he couldn't bare the stress. I'll probably buy him some cigs. I think his mother is sick as well since he always pick up his mothers call. Besides its a Korean culture to thank your instructor. Well.. not exactly with cigs but I can't afford other goods. For some reason cigs are insanely cheap here. Well.. it doesn't help since I quit smoking. lol


I kind of need to work on being sad. I keep laughing at inappropriate moments... ending up offending people. lol. I guess its just a bad habit. Yeah..   its why doctors always think I'm ok when I'm deadly sick lol.

I wonder how long it would take to buy this car lol. I just wanted this when I was young thats all. I'll probably be too nervous to drive it. lol. I don't know... maybe its a dream or it could be a reality.

My life could be someone's dream. My dream could be someone's life. Dream and reality. I'm having trouble deciding what is real. Sometimes its really hard to believe things.

Kopinos.

Today is pretty dark outside. Its actually a good thing because summer in Korea is disgustingly hot. Sure, the tropics were hot but, Korea is the quite bad. You know why? because electricity is freaking expensive that we can't use the air conditioner. I'm so sleepy. Well... another person is taking 3 classes while I'm taking 2. Pretty amazing.  

Anyways, I'm just going to talk about Kopinos based on an article I've read. Its basically babies of Koreans and Filipinos. Basically Koreans go on sex trips to Philippines, make babies and then come back to Korea. Leaving the mother and the baby. Most prostitutes are very young teenagers. The reason is because Koreans refuse to use condoms and they don't want STDs. 

When then again we do have a lot of prostitutes. 

Today was pretty dumb. There is this homeless person at the subway I always see every morning when I go to classes. He just sleeps there. Some random Koreans started kicking him and saying crap to them. Thats pretty messed up. Idk its kind of disturbing because he's already pressured. He doesn't need extra pressure from people.

Oh... I finally got to meet those superstitious people. They asked me to pay for a ritual that makes my dead people happy. lol... eventually I told them to fuck off. Idk... its stupid. I didn't care about a lot of things they've said. But, they said something they shouldn't have. They told me I don't give back enough to society... lol It pissed me off a lot... because giving back to society did somewhat make my life extremely hard. So... I got really pissed off and cursed at them.

fuck them.

D 349

Just some random thoughts because I have to learn more stuff. UMF did come to Korea. I wanted to go but lol, too busy these days. I should be dieting this month but, like I said too busy lol.

1. Skin
2. Computers
3. Music - not really.

So much to fix... Man..

Understanding.
Is something everyone begs for and asks for.
But, then again, how much do we understand?
about others, when we don't even understand ourselves.

We do have a billion selves insides us.
The sad self, happy self, funny self and the quiet self.
All these different selves, makes me, you and everyone.
I mean everyone is just another term for a group of selves whether its the selves inside someone or society.
Maybe just knowing yourself is the best way to understand the others.


Idk just came up. Note to self. Quit smoking kthaxbai

D-353

Description of life

Just really busy. Classes, but I do learn something, which is really important. Dance classes are pretty cool because every really enjoy themselves. I suck so much but I kind of don't care. Its my first time, well second time now. For real, it was a great choice. I really don't have time for organizing my music library.. which is pretty sad. Well... I mean I do have 300 g worth of music. Well.. Idk I like all sorts of music. 

I gave my cousin a mix of songs. He liked it :P which was pretty cool. I guess I just need more practice. 

Fuck I'm so busy. 

Thoughts

I really really really hate people. WTF seriously... This is how people do things. "Hey trust me, so that I can use you" "Do this" "Do that".. 

Well no thanks. 

I found elder people really nice. One suggested me to take their seat. I refused since they need it more. Another helped me pick up some stuff. Sometimes I see like an 70 year old elder giving away his seat to a 80 year old person. These are like things I love seeing. Its really what I call beauty. 

D-356

Description of life

I just slept a lot. Talked to strangers. Did work. Do Jaesa which is basically a ritual for the dead. Its a Korean thing. We like to thank our dead people. Jk I mean our ancestors. Here go read this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JesaProgress. I counted how many of the flyer phone tags were torn off. You know like you place your phone number on the flyer and people can tear one off to keep the number themselves. Yeah I know I just went out and counted the numbers torn off lol. I can't help it. I'm impatient as hell. A lot of people tore off the tags. I think like 30. Thats a lot. I didn't get any calls yet which is worrying. I'm assuming that its because exams are going on this period of time. Probably get some calls after couple of weeks. Hopefully. I just hope I get like 3 students. Well, I guess I do "need" the money this time. 

Feelings 

I'm exhausted but it feels good. Idk fuck. To be honest, I know what I'm doing yet I don't know what I'm doing. Being socially awkward is retarded. I don't understand anything. 

Thoughts

Quotes

Music I've liked

Day 8

Description of life

Really really busy, but I feel really good inside. The exhaustion feels so good. I mean it was overwhelming last year, but still the feeling of being exhausted. It just means I've lived to the fullest. Dance classes were pretty awesome except for the fact that I suck at it :P. Well, I guess I need to practice. I've sent out more flyers recently. I'm impatient as hell so I go check up if the flyers are gone. Yeah I know... Its just how I am. I've just recently got my djing machine so I'm playing with that too. Doing so much stuff at once.. lol. Well its only day 8. I'm still pretty high. I kind of wish I had 3 students or so. I need money for other stuff. Technically everything is going as planned. I need to do some stuff. Ha. So busy seriously. I need to prepare for Christmas again. 

Today I saw some old people doing concert near my house. Its pretty cool how they are giving back. See... couple of posts before I've talked about giving to elders. Then, elders giving back to the young. Pretty damn cool how life works. 

Progress

1. 

2. 

3. 

4.

Feelings 

Just a bit sad. Thats it. I'm just really depressed about my skin. Ha... 

Thoughts

Quotes

Music I've liked

Day 3

Description of life

My plans started. 9 -7 computer classes. I'm actually writing this during my lunch break. For now at least the class was pretty good. The teacher is pretty funny though. He told us where we can smoke during breaks... lol. WTF... Next class probably is going to be harder since I don't know what that class is about. I have another class at 9:30. I'm kind of happy with the way my life is going. Man.. seriously its really much easier to just focus on myself. But, I keep seeming to put others before me ^^;; This is an annoying personality I have. Whatever. I seem to make life extremely complicated. 

These are just some stuff I saw today and yesterday. 

Some Korean doctors giving free inspections. Just normal check ups I guess. I heard they give out medicine for free for elders as well. Pretty cool. 

 

Today I this. Barbers were giving out free hair cuts for the elders. Again, pretty good stuff. I wish I could do something...pew being useless sucks balls. I'll probably be able to do a lot more this year since.. I'm back at my home ground. 

Donkaze. Yeah I know. Japanese call it dongatsu or something. Well.. Koreans eat it too. We don't pronounce it the way Japanese people do. So, whatever. :P This crap was insanely good. Its somewhere near Ordinary Kim, which is my cousin's pub or bar. 

This is the bar or whatever my cousin owns. Its pretty spacious. Its pretty old but, cozy as well. I had fun. :P I got home. Tried the spin2. I honestly don't know anything about djing. Especially its awkward since I only listen to electro... You barely need a dj to do anything. I'll probably work on beat making after few months of dancing. Fuck... I really don't know what I'm doing. Well I do actually. I'm actually doing someones hw. Well its a benefit because I get to learn the stuff I needed to learn. Idk I just have to become the best at those things I like. Well cs I need the money. Fuck this is so weird. I was going to die later and then now that I've decided to live WTF. 

Oh and I've found some old speakers. Its pretty good too. omfg. I can only turn it on during the night tho.. :3 

Progress

1. 

2. 

3. 

4.

Feelings 

Thoughts

Quotes

Music I've liked

Day 2

Description of life

I went to sauna today with my dad. Slept. Went to buy shoes. Visited grandmother. Visited my cousin, who owns a bar. Omfg. My cousin bought me a dj deck. I really don't know what to say. He never keeps his words. Apparently he did... ha.. wtf... its pretty mind fuck. I'm really thankful. Too busy to write more. Its important to record daily memories. I mean every day becomes faster, which is scary... Ha... 

Progress

1. Just reading cs book. 

2. 

3. 

4.

Feelings 

Thoughts

Quotes

Music I've liked

Day 1.

Description of life
I went to sauna today with my dad. Slept. Went to buy shoes but converse were sold out. Had to go to the further store. 

I've visited the golf sparing place? Idk I forgot what its called. Well, to be honest, its really small. Only 55m. Its barely what I want. It costs around 13 dollars usd. Its ok to be honest. My hands are all swollen so its rare for me to play golf any more. 

This is actually the flyer I've made. I need to post more today. I've checked I've only got couple of tags sliced off. Yeah for sure I need to make more for the other apartments. Another thing is, its really expensive.

Just a photo of on the way back home.

Progress
1. 
2. 
3. 
4.

Feelings 

I feel kind of sorry for someone. I mean I told her she was waste of my time in her face. Well, I do know it sounds mean but its really not what I meant. What I meant was its a waste of time to meet people who don't last. If you're not going to last, don't bother being my friend, love or whatever. Thats what I've meant but to normal people, its really offensive. Well, I don't know to be honest. See, time, money and etc all are wasted if you meet people. So, you should meet those who are most valuable. Its that right? I don't know. I hate those outings where I don't enjoy anything.  

My skins taking quite a while to recover. lol. Its quite depressing how my friends tell me what happened to your skin frequently lol. I mean if its the first thing they ask about you... 

Thoughts
"interpersonal" relationships is fucking messed up. 

Quotes
"I just need to get everything off my chest because I can't fucking sleep. It's the only thing in my life that's going right right now, so can you please not take it away from me? What have I ever done to you? I've done nothing wrong. I think I've been friendly and I've tried to listen and to help, and yet you treat me this way? Why do I deserve this? Can you think of others and not just yourself for a change? My life isn't all a fucking bed of roses but even if it was, that doesn't mean you have the green light to come and fuck with me. 

Do you care about my feelings? Do you? Because it sure as hell doesn't seem like it. You seem like you're only looking out for yourself and whoever gets fucked in the process for your own pleasure, so be it, at least you're happy right? I don't understand. It's common etiquette. It's like an unspoken rule but yet you try to keep breaking it, FOR WHAT? WHY?

Am I unworthy of happiness? Or is my happiness only considered if you're happy? Then it matters. It's not like I want you to be miserable. I don't. But why are you trying to muck with me? I think everything was already established, so can't you accept that? Forgive me, but I can't think of even a solitary, justifiable reason why you wouldn't be able to.

Stop shitting on my fucking rainbow. I deserve some fucking happiness, so let me fucking have it."

This is actually from a friend. I kind of don't care if he doesn't want me to post it on my blog. Idk its just a reminder why I shouldn't hurt others. 

"Korea is a place where you come out of college and become jobless and unhappy"

"I hate people who say "there are a lot of jobs available but, you just have high expectations" 

Music I've liked