The project of giving.

I just want to write about this so I can read this later on. I've already briefly mentioned it before but I want to go through it with details. The project of giving was an individual social project. The idea came up one day during college freshman year. It was basically to give small stuff to cheer people up. Usually most people would just give support with words. But, I preferred to speak with action than words. The reason because I've already went through a lot of suffering before college even started. I realized others would suffer as well. But, if someone supported them, I thought it would make them a bit better. The money I spent of them was from my personal earnings. I did part time jobs from time to time. Plus, I made things which would be more meaningful.

I really did enjoy it. The art of giving definitely is a luxury. And it was the right thing to do. Rather than just watch people suffer. My mind process was, society is a dark place but it doesn't have to be if people cared.

The outcome is soso. I do not know what to say. The good outcomes are those where people thanked me. Those were the best. I pretty much didn't get anything physically back, but its fine. Thats what I expected. Just thank yous. Then, there were those cases where other people wanted stuff from me because others got it too. Those were stupid. Then, there was a case where they tried to take advantage of me. Well, I didn't let them but it was disappointing lol. Oh, not to mention it being bad for dating.

However, I've learned to adapt these problems. It was a good experience for me.

So, instead of giving materialistic goods, I've came to a conclusion I should be giving non-materialistic goods that I can produce with my skills. These would be something like singing and playing the guitar. Well, I still need to learn how to play the guitar properly but its coming.

So, with this I can properly give to people.

I also need to give up looking for gf. I realized there is no point. I won't be able to connect with others because the experience I have earned is unique and not many can relate. Besides at the moment it won't work with all this giving. The girls want a guy that would give only to her, not a guy that gives to everyone.

Let the giving continue.