I realized why I cannot be happy. Its because I don't have a long term relationship. Thats is why I'm always depressed. Never happy because I cannot get the love I've give. So, since nobody can love me, I've became selfless. Its because since I cannot be happy, I get happy from seeing other people happy.
I guess its a form of instant gratification. I wish I could find someone I can trust my life with lol. Don't abandon me because I'm weak.
I do get nightmares for people hating me for doing things for them. fml. It hurts a lot...
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