I wonder why people hate sad people. Why not just take care of them? I used to joke around as much as possible because I was sad. It was a way to cover my sadness. I had to because I was always new to schools. Nobody likes sad people. Its hard to make friends when you're sad. So, you just have to cover it up. So, I've been doing that my entire life.
Well, I think I'm tired of it. Might as well just cry everyday everynight like a girl yay. Well, idk recently I could not control my sadness. I would end up teary in class. So, I have to pretend I'm sleeping. Why am I so sad? I don't understand. Its not like I'm consciously sad. I just happened to be like that. Maybe the years of sadness, which I did not express, have finally started pouring out. I wish I had something physical just to pat my head. Well, thats impossible. I'm always on my own. Maybe I'm suppose to be alone. Its quite sad because its always has been since when I was little.
I did have someone this summer. It felt really good. I thanked him a lot.
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