I'm afraid I am becoming more inefficient. Two days have passed, and I have only 5 more days of this week, but I don't see any accomplishments. Beating myself to become a better person is not constructive or productive at all. Instead, you burn out. You should rest to the fullest when you are resting, while you should give your all during your studies. I just suck at doing this. I always end up sluggishly studying for a prolonged period of time. Besides, if I were to have fun, I feel too guilty.
Graduate school applications have led me to do a lot of brain storming. The most frequent question I ask myself is why was I a failure. I needed to be more competitive. I shouldn't have focused too much on making team work feasible. Team work is important, but it hinders individual learning. I lacked genuine interest of the subject. Learning should be enjoyable. I used to believe hard work beats talent, but in the end, nothing beats pure joy of learning. I should be fearless. I was ruthless in high school. I had too much fear in America. Failure used to not matter, but it did in college. Failure meant you family has to spend more on education. It made to way to insecure that it should have. I should have accepted that imperfection is fine. Waiting for the moment to be a perfect programmer is dumb. It is impractical for your program to be perfect. You don't need to be perfect to program. When I get a project due, I start reading all the irrelevant chapters and reread all the coding books. I end up wasting too much time without coding. Just try to briefly learn the program and start coding. Be selfish. Focus on yourself. Other people's problems are not your problem. I need to focus on my problems. I can't solve their issues anyways. I need to change my sleeping pattern. People really don't need 8 hours of sleep. I'm going to try and sleep every 4 hours for few minutes. It is going to be a challenge, but change is necessary for my future goals.
No comments:
Post a Comment