Depression is a black hole... once your in it its hard to get out of it.

Or maybe, depression is just part of life... Its just that if depression starts to affect your daily life and workload... its just too much to handle.

1. must gather as much self esteem as possible even if means spending a lot of money.
2. must constantly talk to someone.
3. must stop caring.
4. must exercise to become gdragon
5. try my best to not kill my grade completely
6. listen to music non-stop

Why am I depressed

1. scared of being alone
- Its quite stupid tho. Financially, I'm doing fine. Academically, I'm doing ok. Emotionally, I'm not doing ok... I guess having a sick parent in a foreign country got me, the numerous bullying and losing contact with every friend I have. I don't feel secure. Oh and not to mention, I'm going to be the head of the family fmlfmlfmlfmlfml.

Anyone have dr.dre headphones?

I wonder if I should get them for christmas... haha I have to give myself presents because I'm always alone XD

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If any of you have friends interested in Korea. Please ask them to subscribe to MySeoulStories. Oh, you can also ask your depressed friends to subscribe and see how I cope with depression thats cool too. -.- I don't have enough subscribers compared to others. Its going to be my 4th year of this blog and I kind of wish more people subscribed. lol I like how I'm getting hate for being racist... Well... Asians are racist. We just never tell outsiders, so most people think I'm the only racist Asian. But it doesn't mean we just get pitchforks and start poking foreigners with it. We are nice. We do let people disappoint our expectation. Well, there are always those people who are hardcore racist, but generally most Koreans aren't hardcore racist. They just don't know enough. Also, more people are friendlier to foreigners because they want foreigners to have a good experience in Korea and come again. I'm just racist cause its fun.

Ok next topic...

Actually I had a nice talk with a old friend. Basically, I'm scared of losing special people and moving on. My friend has a similar issue. She has old parents like I do. So, we're both afraid of fitting into society cause our parents were the ones who provide the bread.  And trust me, I have no idea which society I belong to. It was nice to know about this because normally people don't talk about these stuff.

 lol I want a hug but can't get one.
:(