I had to get some GRE books. I'm most likely not going to apply for graduate school but I need to do something. I should be studying computers but I'm too tense for that. Studying GRE isn't going that great even though I did pretty decent on the SAT. Well, the big difference from back then was that I wasn't depressed. I had issues with hatred more than being demotivated. This slump is dumb. It would definitely feel good once I get over it but I still feel this is retarded. I don't know... no matter how much connection I make it seems pointless. Its kind of true that there is no long term relationships. People change and you just have to find new ones. Maybe life is suppose to be done alone. I mean statistically speaking its kind of true.
Back to the journey of acquiring GRE books. Some person was trying to convince me to waste money on her. Its dumb... it starts with asking directions. Koreans are quite willingly help people find directions so for people who want to do harm, its a easy way to get attention from their targets. The girl asked "How do you get to bangbang street." (bang bang is the street between my house and gangnam). I told her just walk over there. She asked "Is there a lot of things to do there?." Honestly, I don't do much in Korea except for eat and buy things I need. I said "There is nothing to do there." Obviously this was a question that indicate a lot of things. At that point of time I kind of didn't care. If I said there is a lot to do there and explained stuff. It means I'm an average university student in Korea, who've hanged out there a lot. I'm pretty sure there are clubs there as well. I mean its a rich people area. If I said no I'm probably someone who doesn't hang out there a lot. Thus a busy person. Busy doing what? Studying. If we deduce the people who "have" to study rather than willingly study. Its usually medical students or engineers. She probably looked at my clothes. I wore shitty clothes, just a hoodie and cheap shorts. Note, in Korea, even the poorest people would try to get nice branded clothes. So, probably concluded I'm an engineer since Korean medical students dress a bit better. She asked "Are you an engineer" I quickly said "yes" because I still didn't mind. She asked if I was computer science major. That was the point I removed myself. This isn't a normal I-want-direction conversation. I mean its easy to guess. In engineering popular subjects are computer science, computer engineering, electrical engineering and mechanical engineering. If you were going to take a guess, its pretty safe to guess within these majors. In the end I felt like shit. I don't know... I hate people who deceive. I wish they freaking grow up and realize everyone has a hard time with their own shit without them effing other people's lives.
After buying the GRE books, some guy slammed into me. I got really tense. In Korea, irrational terror happens quite a bit. Like people would cause violence for no reason. I started evaluating the situation and checked if the person was going his direction. I had to keep looking back and make sure I know where he is. Fortunately, we gained distance. I asked a friend and she told me shoving is normal for the older generation. I guess its probably because they had it harder and didn't have the luxury to care others. For sure though it was weird... I always keep distance from people. I did keep distance with that person but somehow he closed up with me. So Ninja.
Life is so weird..and I wonder if Koreans are the only race that kills their parents to get money. I don't know... Traditionally we are suppose to respect our elders but theres been a lot of cases where parents were murdered. Well... on the other hand, sometimes the male family member commit suicide in order to get money from the insurance company then give it to their family.
Every morning my sense tingle my head with a little warning because I always find myself running to avoid another pounding and a around of cussing. People call it fussing when I start expressing and only near death they'll admit my life is depressing but its was them who's doing the pressing and rejecting. Always objecting instead of respecting whenever I try projecting until its their turn to burn. Only then it becomes a major public concern but there is no return for those who've already been hurt and had their hearts shredded to dirt. They hate people so much that they can never love to give birth. Because they know humans are mental perverts
So much respect for this girl.
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